The Magic Lives On

 Alpenrose 2011

Believe…..believe

The magic, though dwindled at some point in our adulthood is brought back to life through the eyes of our children. Even though there are so many years of memories when I was a little one, there is usually one that stands out where that magic is powerful, coming from somewhere unexplainable . Just ask Ralphie in the Christmas Story, the Griswold’s, or those lucky enough to meet Buddy the Elf. 

What is your favorite memory from your childhood of Christmas where you remember the magic the most?

I was around 6 years old coming back from a gathering of extended family in Salem on Christmas Eve. It was an icy and snowy night and our journey home would be an unforgettable one. We barely made it out of the city and still had quite the journey to go in our old Ford pickup truck. For those that know me, you remember the trek up to the house in the country. It was a dark and snowy night and the snow drifts up in the hills made us feel like we would leave the road at any moment. My father was one heck of a driver in the snow, but even with his expertise and relentless will to get us home, Old Man Winter taught my dad a lesson. We hit a drift which sucked us toward the side of the rode where we would stop in silence. I remember my parents looking at each other with the “What are we going to do?” look. At this point we were only about two miles from our house, but a family trekking through this snowstorm at around midnight put us in a position of helplessness. I remember my dad getting out of the truck to try to dig us out of the drift, wanting to get us home to a warm bed to get ready for Santa’s visit. I knew there was nothing we could do when the only thing that came back to that truck cab was a discouraged face. 

We huddled together in that truck for about 15-20 minutes when we heard a vehicle and saw lights. Could that be Santa’s sleigh? It wasn’t, but it was just as magical. Out late that night were some neighbors that lived down the road that just happened to have a nice big truck. Even though there was no room in the cab, we jumped in the bed and huddled up for the two mile journey home. As the snow fell on my face I looked up at my mother with a worried look on her face and asked “Mom…..how can Santa come in this weather? Did we miss him?”. Her response….”Santa will come….he always does”. 

That was a night that was unforgettable. Not only because of a higher power watching over us and helping us get home safe, but the feeling of how close I was with my family and them reassuring me that everything was going to be ok. 

Other memories I have as a child?

-Singing hymns at church, and seeing friends and family

-“Cousins Christmas”, with great-grandmas homemade fudge and grandma’s cake and bean dip.

-The yearly tradition of going up into our own forest to cut down a Christmas tree.

I never had many presents as a child, but I was always thankful for what I did get and the luckiness of the experiences I had. 

The fun of being a parent is to create our own traditions and to pass those magical experiences on to another generation. 

-The yearly trip to Alpenrose to see Storybook Lane (I’m so glad it was back this year)

-Every two years going to Dilley to see the other Storybook Lane.

-Disneyland many years (including the monsoon in California last year)

-Always opening pajamas on Christmas Eve (Keely and I have been doing that for 17 years now)

-Going to the Holiday Food and Gift Festival and eating snacks

-Getting our tree the few days after Thanksgiving (definitely dead this year at this time)

-Decorating the tree together

-Driving around in our pajamas looking at Christmas lights.

-Having white sauce enchiladas at Grandmas on Christmas day

-Heading to the local pub on Christmas night (this is the adult tradition)

- And so many more

Hopefully, your traditions are continuing to live on and you are making new ones every year. I hope all of you have had a wonderful day. Happy Holidays!

Josiah

Me time and Friend Time? What Is That?

Me time and Friend Time? What is that?

What is “Me” time? I’ve never heard of it. Oh wait……I remember there was a time about seven years ago when that something in my life was a possibility.

Parents……sound familiar? With getting up in the morning and getting the kids ready, going to work, coming home, taking the kids to activities, coming home to make dinner, cleaning up, spending some time with them before bed, getting them ready for bed, and having some time with the spouse, there isn’t much “Me” time at all! I know some of your schedules (the older your kiddos are) are even more packed.

When I finally have some “Me” time, there is always something else happening. Usually, it’s a little munchkin jumping on my lap wanting to play, or wife requesting something from the kitchen, or countless other errands I have to do. I guess I don’t have to do these things that take up my time, but sometimes there are things that we have to suck up and do to maintain our relationships. 

My youngest daughter can play for an eternity by herself. However, for some reason my oldest has decided a long time ago that she needs one of us to play with her. If she doesn’t have an activity that I’ve planned out or that is semi-exciting, all the down time that I had has been sucked dry. Part of it is the age, and part of it is her dependency. I know I will miss this someday though. It won’t be too long before the teenage years infest my home. At that point I will wish that I had my young ones back. 

So what does a guy like me do to have time to myself?

Wife complains about the length of time I take in the bathroom. Honey, there is a reason I do this. Do you really think it takes me that long to do my business? Had you fooled I guess. You might laugh at this, but this is serious “Me time” business. I do what I want to do without anyone telling me what to do. Reading, playing video games (no I don’t have a TV in the bathroom….just on the phone), every now and then spending time on the laptop (I know….gross right?....that is a legit bitching moment by wife;)). 

Wife has also learned (it has taken years) not to be mad at me if I don’t come to bed. This again is my time. Sitting in my recliner, watching sports without screaming kids, playing video games, just chillaxin’. Yes, there have been some weekends that I have fallen asleep in this spot. Sometimes, I remind myself of my own dad. I guess the difference though is that I woke up my dad for him to go to bed. 

Thank you friends and family for understanding that we don’t have a shitload of time on our hands to spend time with you. It’s a tough balancing act. It’s not that we are purposefully ignoring you. We are truly busy. If we’re not busy, usually we just want to sit down and relax for our own sanity. We love you all, but we love our kids and ourselves just a little more. Any time we do get with you is fantastic. 

Why am I writing this? Because I have some “Me time” right now. ;)

Hopefully, you get some time during the holidays for yourselves, your family, and friends. Happy Holidays!

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Thanksgiving.....the Little Things

Ahhh.....Thanksgiving! Probably one of my favorite holidays. You can't go wrong with stuffing yourself, watching football and spending time with family.

Don't forget to watch A Charlie Brown's Thanksgiving.....a classic.

http://abc.go.com/shows/a-charlie-brown-thanksgiving

On this holiday we always give thanks in our lives for many things. Here are the top 10 things I am thankful for other than my family and friends, a roof over my head, food and good health. These top ten things are those little things you don't really think about, but they are all important in some way.

In no particular order and at random, I am thankful for........

1. Getting up for work. Why you say? Because I have a job to get up for. This year, there is a lot to complain about in my work environment. However, I feel fortunate to be able to provide for my family. At the end of the day I'm sitting in my home with my family.....the things that really matter.

2. Finding toys scattered around the house. I know what you parents are thinking. Half of the time we want to take these toys and bag them up and take them to Goodwill. However, one of these days we'll miss it. I still remember back to before the kiddos when our house was clean........it was awesome. However, I'll take the messes and the kiddos. My family is what keeps me sane half of the time.I'm tempted to invest in some housecleaning though.

3. Being the positive adult role-model in the lives of today's children. Teachers have power. Like yesterday for me, we want to sometimes take that power to choke them and poke them with a cattle prod. However, there's something about getting those little notes from kids or having them come back to visit you years later that makes teaching all worthwhile. I'm thankful for having the opportunity to transform this generation into a society that takes care of me in my "geezer" age.

4. Toilet paper. Yes, you heard me, it's hard to think of life without it. However, living in a house of females I should invest in toilet paper stock. I mean seriously.......

5. Music. What would our world be without it? Can you imagine a movie without it (Breaking Dawn could have left it out)? A bar without karaoke or a jukebox? Christmas without the classics?

6. Smiles. Whether it's walking down the street and acknowledging a stranger, walking in the door to find your kids beaming, or the first little grin of a baby, smiles just make you feel good. However, there is that smile that a wife gives you that says....."You can do that if you want, but you won't get any for an eternity".

7. Old People. They say it how it is, their knowledge and stories are incredible, and they're what is left of a generation and time that is greatly missed.

8. Sports. Yes....most of you ladies can complain all you want about us men watching our sports and playing fantasy. However, it's real, brings people together, and helps us sport's freaks survive the rigorous nature of life. Nuff said.

9. Good drivers, because bad drivers suck and they bring out my road rage.  To the jerks who speed up as you try to pass,  pass at the last second when two lanes converge, drive 10 mph under the speed limit, text while they drive while eating food, drive drunk, etc..........friggin' stay home.

10. People who are intelligent and socially skilled. Thank you. Ignorant people drive me nuts. There are too many people in the "Upper Realms" of all fields that are ignorant. In education it's all about who you know and jumping through red tape. There are too many educators out there that are fabulous that never make it to these upper positions (like most jobs). For our world's sake......let's hope this changes. Unfortunately, the texting generation is missing a lot of these social skills, work ethic, and basic intelligence (in my opinion). I'm hoping they prove me wrong as time goes on.

There are many more where these 10 came from, but these are some of the first things that came to mind. Enjoy your Thanksgiving everyone! As you are sitting on that couch with turkey in your belly putting you to sleep remember those little things or the things you don't normally think about.

Take care everyone,
Josiah

A Well Needed "Man Cave"

Yes.......most guys have thought about "The Switch". Jason Bateman...I feel you.

The top ten reasons that every man should have a “Man Cave”. However, I know most of these fit you mommies too. 

These are the fun things we parents get to deal with. Unfortunately, living in a small house, my opportunities for creating one of these “Man Caves” is limited. I have the “Cat room” (our extra half bath), the shed in the back yard (umm…..no), laundry room (are you kidding me, getting lost in all those clothes?), and the garage (if it were actually clean). Maybe this is why I take so long in the bathroom. Did you ever think of that my dear wife and children? ;)

The Top Ten Reasons That Every Man Should Have a “Man Cave”

1. There is no mute button for bickering children.

2. Somewhere along the line "Daddy!!" became the girls' favorite word. Yes....that means I'm needed right away.

3. Whining

4. The "Toy Tornado" that I always have to walk through and pick up.

5. I'm a sports freak......they are not. However, I've made some progress on that one.....they love the Timbers and Ducks, so I can usually get away with watching those games as the girls route them on.

6. Sometimes I actually get tired of playing "Jump" from the couch and having to lift my ladies into the air while dancing. I love these times, but I'm not getting any younger.

7. Sometimes the truth hurts. "No girls.......I don't need a bra."

8. "I see your penis!!! Hee hee". Yes, I've heard that a few times. There are too many vaginas in my house. I know it's a foreign object. Hopefully, an object you won't see on another man until you're out of the house.

9. How many times do I have to ask you to do something before it's done? Apparently not just one.

10. Sometimes we just need time to ourselves. Honey, just remember this list on the nights that I stay up late or stay in the bathroom for an extra long period of time.

With these being said, I love being a dad. With every top ten list like this there are three times as many rewarding things.

Oh wait.....seriously......I'm being beckoned and one of my girls is crying. Yee haw! ;)

Parents need a license

Seriously........parents need a "Parent License".

Yesterday we witnessed a mother pushing a stroller in the rain with the top down, smoking a cigarette while pregnant. It's tough to know that her children will be taking care of me in my old age. I want to say that they stand a chance, but statistics and experience say that hope is dim for those youngsters. Is it fair that she brings these children into the world? Their innocence being obliterated at an early age, being forced to "grow up" to help support their other struggling siblings and by witnessing all of the negative "grown up" things their parents do. Sad for sure.

I feel privileged to be able to help some of these families. Adults, no matter if you are in education or not, just being connected in some way to children through coaching, churches, friends, whatever.......have the power to make some kind of difference. Positivity is hard to come by in this day and age with our struggling economy, the business of everyday life, and the media whose attention is always focused on fake realities and news that is deeply depressing. Positivity......smiles, compliments, just instilling some kind of warmth within these youngsters when the world around them is coming crashing down. We can do something you know.

I wish there was a way to control the success of our youth through limiting the number of kids that do come into the world already having disadvantages. Remember, they don't get to choose where they go. The world is not fair. So with that being said, here is my fantasy proposal for future parents.....

Upon the potential of bringing a child into this world, in order to get that "Parent license", here are the things you have to do along with some ideas of how the community can help:

1.Enroll future parents in mandatory parenting classes that teach basic skills of how to parent along with providing resources that parents can access to help them become better parents.

2. Mandatory drug testing. If found positive, enter rehab. Parenting classes and classes that focus on the health of a fetus would be required.

3. Provide safe houses for parents looking for shelter. These would be loving families (usually couples) that take in either single mothers (or pregnant mothers) or small families and provide them with life skills to prepare them for parenting. When the new parents or single mothers find shelter, the "safe house" family serves as mentor family that checks in with them on a regular basis. I'm sure there are centers like this already.

4. Hire "Parent Police" that enter the community looking for parents that can be re-taught the proper way to parent their children. As a "ticket" the parents are required to go to parenting classes. To be careful about this, because as we all know we have had some incidents in public, the first couple of times are warnings. The third time would be a charm though. However, if there is a more major incident (like hitting in public), then that would be an obvious incident that would be brought to the higher powers. Do you know how many times I've wanted to be one of these "Parent Police"?

5. Set aside specific jobs for parents, education opportunities, and childcare. Yes....I know....a lot of money.

6. If parents can prove that they have taken classes throughout pregnancy, are clean and have shelter and food for their children, they can acquire their license.

7. Just like a drivers license or other licenses, they would have to be renewed. Every year you would be visited by a social worker and would also have to provide proof of being "clean".

These are just a few things y'all. Yes.....it's my dream world. Of course there would be some flaws with these ideas. I don't know about what consequences there would be if parents didn't meet these requirements. However, you get the idea. The point is, our future families and children need all of the help they can get. It's a never ending cycle...............growing up in a family of poverty, becoming a parent in poverty. Too bad those rich people in the world (or sport's athletes who get paid more in 7 minutes than I do in my year of work) aren't required to help in some way.

I don't know if I can handle seeing another parent talking disrespectfully in the supermarket to their children, grabbing them in a harsh way, seeing kids come to school hungry and sad with no self-esteem, babies with no proper clothing, etc.

However, with this being said, I do what I can to provide. I love my own kids, my school kids, the kids I've never met. In this society, the only thing we can do is love and teach our youth.

The kids are our future. My future depends on them.

Josiah

The Game of "Honesty"

The game of “Honesty”. Isn’t it fun to play?

Yes, in my opinion, this is one of those things you have to have in any relationship in order to keep it from crumbling along with a few other ingredients that I won’t yet mention in today’s blog. However, it does become a game. "Take a Chance" in some situations can lead you to a place you don't want to go. Most of the time there are no "Get Out of Jail Free" cards. 

We always preach to tell the truth. However, do we ever really stay true to who we are and what we think? I think the older we get, it isn’t so much of a game anymore, true honesty. The individuals who call it as it is. Call these people “Old Farts” or whatever. Problem is, people have a hard time hearing the truth. They know it already most of the time, but for some reason they have to have someone back up their own thinking. Personally, I would rather have someone be straight forward with me instead of mouthing off behind my back. How can I change and become better if someone doesn't tell me?

There are times that honesty can get you into trouble. Here are a few dreaded questions that husbands, parents, or teachers have heard:

As a husband…..(let me get this straight right now Keely…..the first question doesn’t apply to you)

“Honey, do I look fat in this dress?” 

“Did you hear what I said or asked you?” I can't say yes anymore to this one when I really haven't heard.

"Were you staring at her?"

Men......."No", "Yes", "No". Some females can handle the truth. They like straight out answers. However, it's still hard to be honest all of the time. There comes a point that the word "tact" comes more into play than honesty. And so the game keeps rolling, along with many more questions that we have to quickly think of a good answer to.

As a father...........

"Dad, is Santa/The Easter Bunny/the Tooth Fairy real?" Seriously though....they are, my daughters' hearts will not be broken by me. 

"Dad, don't you think this looks beautiful?" Yes.....the scribbles that you didn't take your time on look masterful. Of course, our answer will always be beautiful. Could you imagine the look on a kid's face if you said something negative?

"Dad, does this outfit look awesome?" Kids will be kids.....hey, if they want to where striped tights with a polk-a-dot shirt along with clashing colors out to the store, so be it. However, I think mom has a little more difficulty with this happening.

As a teacher..........

Many questions are the same as when your own kids ask you things. However, here are some things that happen behind the scenes. 

So kids......that "Stick of Doom" that I draw to have you answer a question doesn't always have your name on it. Sometimes we just have to be strategic. Isn't it amazing how your name gets drawn when you aren't paying attention?

I've never recycled a student paper in my teaching career (ok......this is a big lie.....see, I'm being honest)

We never talk about parents or kids behind their backs. Parents who aren't teachers and have kids in school, this happens....a lot. Please, don't become some of those freaky, needy, helicopter parents that all of us teachers dread.

------------

Honesty is important. However, tact when it comes to relationships and children is sometimes more so. Be true to yourself and keep your integrity without destroying the people around you. Like any game, you have to be strategic. :)

The Joys of Multitasking

Let's face it guys......most of the time we're not the best at multitasking. Yes....I know there are a few of you that will beg to differ. However, ladies would probably agree that for the most part I am correct on this assumption. I have improved over the years. Being a husband, father and teacher transforms you just a little bit.  Here are my top pieces of advice, observations, or experiences about multitasking. Yes guys....there are ladies out there who can join our "club" too and there are guys out there who somehow have super powers.


1. Men....when your wife or girlfriend is talking to you, look at them. If you're anything like me, those words that come out of her mouth will not connect with those areas of the brain that actually make meaning out of what she says.Those famous words....."Do you understand?". I have learned to say no, instead of nodding my head "uh huh". Why? Because wife is smart enough to actually make me repeat back what she says. Maybe it's the teacher in her. :) Having a wife talk to you while playing video games or doing something you enjoy doing transforms her into that teacher from Charlie Brown.

2. Get sleep. As we know, when we are exhausted, we are worthless. Also, if you are a new parent, try not to close out a bar at 2:30 in the morning and expect to have a good time feeding your newborn in the middle of the night. Feeding a baby a bottle on no sleep and a few drinks makes even simple multitasking (watching tv while feeding the baby) a difficult one.

3. Expect your wife to be mad at you when she gets on a cleaning kick. She will expect you to clean 50 things at once. THIS IS NORMAL. If you can pull off bouncing around doing 3 jobs at once and eventually get them done, that will score major points for you. If it doesn't score you points, then you might as well go back to doing one thing at a time.

4. When I eat at a restaurant I'm focused on my wonderful food and drink, and the people directly in front of me. Sorry if I don't hear something important happening 10 feet away. I do wish I had this skill. Wife has used this "Super Power" to get things free for us, discounted admission, and inside information to help us. I am impressed with myself though. A couple of weeks ago I had a fun time listening to the totally clean conversation of a drunk couple a couple booths away.

5. Ladies, do you think hinting at something for your significant other will do anything for you? Remember, we already have a hard time multitasking. If you want us to focus on your problem or request, tell or ask us. It's not that we are not listening to you. It's totally the lack of multitasking, right guys?

6. Multitasking doesn't always save time. Sometimes we just want to do a job very well, hence the reason why we do one thing at a time. Who wants to go back and do it again if it's not done right?

7. Experience does improve the skills. I think back to the first years of being a teacher. How did two of my students make one of those telephones that reached across the room (cups and string) without my knowledge? Now, 11 years later, I know when each student even blinks. Proximity, and as my football coach used to say..."head on a swivel, head on a swivel". Now I can actually teach and take care of behavior problems without even stopping instruction. However, it took me at least 5-8 years to master this. It still cracks me up looking back to when I was a rookie.

8. Organization can help multitasking. Imagine that! Lists, notes, and schedules are a little OCD and nerdy. However, they work. If I don't make a list before going to the store, I usually forget something. At least I have a 7-eleven a block away.

9. Students.......if you all try to talk to me at the same time, I won't hear any of you. Kids, wife and friends, the same goes for you. One at a time, please. If you want to be heard, be sure no one is interrupting you.

10. Just because you're good at multitasking in certain realms, doesn't mean you're good at multitasking in others. For example, I'm very good at multitasking when it comes to reading and playing music. However, you ask me to talk on the phone and cook at the same time and this leads to something that tastes like back side of something. Doing something I enjoy doing also transforms me into a multitasker. :)

Yes, you've all probably made the observation that my multitasking issues have a lot to do with social interaction. True. However, isn't this the case most of the time with most people?

I do want to say that it is important in this day and age to not forget about your family. I get caught up in Facebooking, and playing games on my phone or whatever.  I see too many parents not putting everything into the interaction with their children. Not only is this lack of emotional connection debilitating for future relationships that they may have, but it will catch up with you later when you say "Where has the time gone?". Family and work are separate, remember that. As you should already know, your family is your first priority. Until next time y'all!


Here are a couple of fun links to test your multitasking skills. Of course, these are just games. It's a little different with real world tasks. :)

http://www.nytimes.com/interactive/2010/06/07/technology/20100607-task-switching-demo.html

http://kbhgames.com/Multitasking-Test-Game-1407/