Tuesday, August 21, 2012

"The Talk"

 Hello all.........it has been awhile since I have blogged. However, I couldn't pass this one up.

Yes.......it happened.......the sex talk took place.

In this day and age it is inevitable for children to find out sooner than later about that word....."sex". If your kids ever watch tv, the word echoes on family sitcoms (not to mention "Bitch" and "Ass" and all of the other words we used to say if we wanted our mouths washed out with soap). These aren't the sitcoms of the old days ladies and gentleman. Not the "Growing Pains" and "Who's the Boss" and all of the others that we stayed up to watch. And really......there aren't even many family shows anymore that you can watch since the reality television era took over "The Tube". Sex is everywhere. Open your eyes ladies and gentleman. Unless your religious views and way of life shelter your kids "The Talk" will happen sooner or later. We also decided to be very forthright with our kiddos. We agreed we don't want to hide anything, because who knows how she would learn her information with those other "little teachers" at school. If she was going to learn about this word, she was going to learn it right. Yes.....you can judge us for starting this early, but I almost felt like we had no choice.

Anyways.....so it happened. "Dad and mom........how do babies get here?". The days of telling her "When two people are married and love each other something magical happens and a baby appears". No stork......no cabbage patch.......no "seed". Nope....not cutting it for this eight year old. "Mom and dad......what if I love someone and I'm married and I don't want a baby.......how can I stop that?". Oh geez........ok. We decided we needed a little help. We are teachers and decided to use literacy to teach, because that's what we do. We weren't quite ready to answer this question right away.

We took a journey to "The Big City" to attempt to find some good reading material to help us in answering her inquisitive questions. Let me tell you something.......there aren't many good books out there. We found a book entitled "Where Did I Come From?". I mean it said it sold over 2 million copies. We took a look inside and almost crapped ourselves. Really? Let me read you a little excerpt.

"The man loves the woman. So he gives her a kiss. And she gives him a kiss. And they hug each other very tight. And after a while the man's penis becomes stiff and hard, and much bigger than it usually is. It gets bigger because it has a lot of work to do."

Really? Holy Mother of God. By the way.....this wasn't even in the section entitled "Making Love". The above paragraph was mild. I mean, who would read that to their kids unless you wanted to give them a complex?

Now......we did have to buy that book. Not to use it to read to my children, but so we could make fun of it. Oh.....it has some interesting cartoon pictures too. We have used it more than a few times as a comedic centerpiece after a few glasses of wine.

We decided to go with a different book that didn't divulge all of the graphic information. Feeling confident that we could do this, we headed home.

Now.....I was a bad father, or maybe a smart one. I let mommy do the talking. ;) We had some interesting questions that day during "The Talk". Here are a few of my faves.

1. How does the sperm get there?
2. Do you and daddy like to kiss? And then...........
3. Did you have sex last night? (Oh geez.......I had to leave the room on that one with Keely looking at me with a helpless look on her face)
4. Do you like seeing each other naked?

A lot of awkwardness and interesting moments. However, we were honest. In our opinions, honesty is always the best policy (well.......I guess I shouldn't say always.....the "Do I look fat?" question is a different blog). Sex isn't something to hide. Our children need to be educated the right way. I'd love to do a study on the girls that are more promiscuous and whether or not they were sheltered from information about sex. Hmmm....interesting. And what about those teen pregnancies? Did their parents teach them the right way and were open about it? I don't know.

All I know is that us parents have a big job. Sometimes awkward moments like this can lead to nothing but honesty from our daughters (hopefully) in the future. I guess my other choice would be to make them wear long dresses and not let them date until their 18........sounds good to me.

Ahhh........life of a parent.....always learning and always creating some memories that will never go away.